Momma never told me . . . spit-up could soak my sleeping baby

So I have been very fortunate in that little man isn't much for spitting-up. It's a rare occurrence when it happens, but when he decides to, he DECIDES to. The first time I really noticed spit-up was several weeks ago when I may or may not have put him in his swing too soon after a feeding and it came out projectile style! That was awesome. In general, he tends to spit up most of what he eats when he eats too much. My classic little binge eater! (I suppose that is only funny to a therapist.) It's never really bothered me all that much. Just baby stuff. Then this morning happened.

I went to get my little one when he started fussing this morning. It was about 4 hours after our early morning feeding where he ate A LOT. I had tried to get him to burp after this but he kept falling asleep so finally I just put him down and went back to bed. When I went in this morning, I noticed he had some milk crustys around his nose and thought it was just from breast milk spray during the eating I didn't notice. Then, as I picked him up the back of his head felt wet. My first thought was sweat, but it was too much for that so I thought pee, but his butt was dry. Now I was really confused until I felt his swaddle blanket. Then I thought man he drooled a lot. Then I smelled it. GROSS! Tummy turning gross. And upon closer examination there were little white chunks here and there. Oh and in his neck rolls, let's not even talk about that. The spit-up monster had attacked in the middle of the night!

I did my best not to breathe too deeply while feeding him. As soon as that was done, we took a very good bath. That was followed by laundry as his blanket, outfit, sheets, and mattress pad were all soaked with spit-up! I suppose poo could have been worse. Yay for the bright side?

Momma never told me . . . taking a baby to a football game takes a lot of energy

Little dude got to attend his first Vandy game! He did great. Mommy survived. It was an evening game which helped, but it had rained earlier, it was still like 91 at kickoff, and the humidity was at like 60%. Needless to say, having a baby strapped to you in a carrier in those conditions led to a lot of sweating for both of us. (Oh and the stands were full from the beginning. For awhile there I was pretty sure I was at the wrong stadium. And as excited as I was to see some enthusiasm for Vandy football. Some empty seats to spread out to would have been nice!) Aside from the weather, there is the whole trying to keep a baby on a schedule thing. Yeah, that doesn't work so well. Our little one has developed a pretty good routine and is in a much better mood when he sticks to it. In general, from when he is up in the morning he does 3 hour cycles. wake, eat, play, sleep REPEAT. Then at night, sometime between 8 and 10 usually, when we sleep we do so for about 6 hours these days. It's a nice routine. It works for him and mommy and daddy. We like it. At the game, he tried to stick to it but eating was hard so he wouldn't eat enough at his feeding so he wanted to snack throughout the game. (Though maybe I shouldn't judge him for that one. Mommy wants to snack throughout sporting events too. It's like a rule or something.) Then when it was time for him to sleep he tried really hard. He would do pretty good too in spite of the noise until a big play happened. That sudden burst of noise from the crowd was just too much to sleep through! Eventually, I spent the fourth quarter walking him around the concourse to get some cooler air and a quieter environment. This actually helped him to sleep and mommy to feel less stressed! But it did not help my back. Holding a baby in the stands and walking around with one forever. I really have to start working out more and building some muscle strength!

Overall though, little mad did great. I think he only really cried once for like a minute. Mommy had a harder time but managed not to cry! The heat was definitely an issue. In the future, we are going to have to take that in consideration a little (lot) more. In 2 weeks we will make attempt number two. This time however, we will have a better exit strategy if needed.

Momma never told me . . . returning to work would almost break my husband

So for my fabulous 7 weeks of maternity leave with little man, my husband has continued to work from home. Our 2 bedroom home with no office. My being home all day with noise all the time almost made him crazy. I think we were both looking forward to me getting out of the house some as my return to work was approaching. However as that time got closer and closer my husband went from, "you do it I'm working" to "help me figure it out cause I don't know what to do when you're gone." It was nice to know some appreciation that taking care of a baby may not always be easy had developed. As my maternity leave was ticking to an end, my husband became gradually more anxious about the baby. His anxiety went to two extremes. On one end, he worried what he was going to do with the baby for 4-6 hours while I was gone. He began discussing zoo memberships, trips to art museums, and other outings that any 7 week old would clearly enjoy! I tried to assure him that plenty of that time would be spent eating and sleeping and during the other times, entertaining a 7 week old really isn't that difficult. At the other extreme, my dear husband would worry extensively about having no time because what if all the baby does is cry for 4 hours. I worked hard to remind him that our son has never cried for 4 hours straight so he would probably be fine.

All of this lead up, and eventually the day came. Maternity leave was over. Back to work I went. Little man and I had a great morning. He had slept a little less than normal but no big issues. My husband had afternoon errands to run so took baby with him about an hour before I had to leave for work. So in total, I was gone for about 6 hours that first day. Longest stretch away since he was born. Yeah, that was probably a mistake.

When I get home I see that the garage door is open and stroller is gone. That is usually a sign that they are out for a walk somewhere close. I thought, "Hey! Let me call and see where they are so I can join them." So I call my husband, ask where they are, and I am met with the following response: "I've waited patiently all day for you! So you can wait patiently for me!" Yeah add in the very agitated tone and that was a pretty good sign the day hadn't gone well. Upon their return I hear about the horrible feeding, the crying for "hours," how I didn't need to be gone that long, how it was stupid that the client in the middle of my schedule had cancelled and I hadn't been able to move the last client up and get home earlier. Needless to say, baby had broken daddy! Fortunately, feeding baby, calming him down, and getting him to sleep gave my husband time to regain his composure and realize that he may have lost it a little. A few apologies later, we ate dinner and problem solved issues he had from the day. Fortunately, since then things have improved. Still some stress but daddy hasn't cracked any further . . . yet.

Momma never told me . . . going back to work would be kinda nice

Probably because she didn't know. I was very fortunate to have been raised by a stay-at-home momma. She was great at her job. I love being home with my baby in the mornings. We have lots of fun together and get some good naps in too. The last week of August was my first official week back in the office and it was nice. I had almost forgotten how much I enjoy being able to listen to people and help them with their problems. I had also forgotten how ridiculous teenagers are! It made me smile to listen to them. Everything is so dramatic. I think going back to work was easier for me because I am starting with only 3 clients a day. I don't have to be gone from little man too long at a time, and client issues don't get so overwhelming. I get out of the house for awhile and feel like I get to keep some of who I used to be. A nice balance. Momma and professional. At some point I will be working longer hours and that might become more complicated. The balancing act will get harder. I am also sure that as baby grows all those afternoon/evening hours I work will feel more costly than they do now. All will come in its time but for now, working is nice.

Momma never told me . . . date and time are irrelevant

So clearly I am mass posting today and catching up on the events of the past 3 weeks. Part of the reason, I had no idea it had been 3 weeks since I'd posted last. Who knew?! All these things happened and I would say, "I need to blog about that." Then baby would cry, or be hungry, or need a diaper change. Time would disappear.

The past 7 weeks haven't involved a calendar or a watch. It has occasionally involved a clock but less for knowing what time it is than for knowing how long it had been since the last feeding or since he woke up. My husband has been the one responsible for planning outings or events. I ask him multiple times a day if we have anything and when. I am interested to see how things go come Monday when I head back to work and have to care about things like date and time again. Hopefully I remember to go to work! (Though my husband probably won't let me forget. As nervous as he is about taking care of baby, I think he's ready to get me out of the house.)

Momma never told me . . . sometimes it would be my husband keeping me up

Last week, my husband and I decided to get out of the house for an evening and we took baby boy to an outdoor movie. It was great and little man behaved himself the whole time. We got home and went to bed. I was sleeping peacefully awaiting the sound of the baby monitor to bring me to a rude awakening. So imagine my shock when 3 hours later it wasn't the baby monitor that stirred me but rather my husband. "I don't feel good. My stomach hurts." Thought in my head, "Are you fucking kidding me." Out loud verbalization, "Really, are you serious right now? Do you realize I don't get to sleep as is?"

Anyhow, I made it better, went back to bed and within 2 hours was back up to take care of the other baby. Then I made sure the big baby heard about it the whole next day! There seriously better be some good presents coming my way soon. Say a car, a new house, diamonds, whatever.

Mommma never told me . . . routine would be so awesome!

Seriously, she never told me that. I grew up in a family of chaos, disorganization, DRAMA. Ok, maybe there was a little routine like we ate regularly, but that's about it. I married someone who is super routined and structured. I have learned to fall somewhere in the middle. Then along came baby boy and routine was out the window. All I knew was that at least every three hours my boobs and baby needed to be in the same place. Other than that there could be sleeping or screaming or this quiet alert time where you didn't really know what to do. Then over this past week or so things started to change. There is more of a pattern of eating, chilling out, sleeping, repeat. Each cycle would be about 3 hours during the day. I could start planning things around this more or less. (The more or less part is important. Sometimes that's hard for my scheduled husband. He'll look at little man and be like, "it's been X time, you're supposed to be doing X." He still hasn't quite figured out babies don't always do what they are supposed to do.) The even more incredible part about this is night time. Baby boy doesn't wake up every 3 hours at night. He goes 4.5 or 5 or even 6 hours between feedings. That means mommy gets sleep. Uninterrupted sleep! Blissful, fabulous, incredible sleep. (Ok, maybe too much excitement there.)

Routine is great. It is starting to make me feel human again. Just in time to go back to the real world.

Momma never told me . . . time would go so fast

Well, this is it! Come Monday it's back to work for me. Granted, I am blessed enough to make my on schedule and am only starting with 3 clients a day. Seriously though, where did the time go! Almost 7 weeks already. 7 exhausting, trying, and incredibly awesome weeks. I can see all the changes in my baby boy as he gets bigger and stronger. I am excited to start working again. I love my job. But, it's a little sad too. I've been with him almost all the time since bringing him home. To think of all that time I will miss is a little overwhelming. To think of all the things my husband is going to have to figure out is a little amusing. Hopefully the husband stories will make up for any feelings of loss as I am sure they will provide a wealth of amusement.

Besides all the emotional awareness such changes in life bring, there is also the issue of, "Seriously, where did all the time go!" I had all these things I was going to accomplish over leave. (Future mothers, don't plan to be productive on maternity leave!) I was going to reorganize my office at work, close lots of old patient files out, re-organize all my treatment materials and references, finish some CE credits I have to do. Yeah, none of that got done. Some of it got barely started. The bright side in it all is that I had something awesome taking up all that time. Time I wouldn't trade for anything!

Momma never told me . . . my husband would try to rationlize drinking

I love my husband. He didn't judge me if I wanted to have a drink during pregnancy. A beer here and there was good for my mental well-being. In fact, some days he encouraged me to have a drink just to be more relaxed about all the stress of impending motherhood. He also doesn't judge me for having a drink here and there while breastfeeding. He really does work hard to get me to take care of myself and not just the baby.

As sweet as that is, sometimes his logic is just ridiculous. The other day I was having a particularly exhausting day and must have expressed some jealousy that he can drink as much as he wants but I have to be more cautious about it. His response to this? "You can get drunk. You have bottles now."
 To which I responded (with an eye roll), "I only have enough for 2 feedings!" Oh but no, he had a response for that too,"That's all you need. That's like 6 hours. Just drink some water when you're done."

Intent = Awesome
Logic = Flawed

Momma never told me . . . breastmilk would get everywhere

I'm not exaggerating. I have thought this since my milk came in after leaving the hospital. I quickly learned to always have a receiving blanket tucked in under my boob when feeding and even then expect to leave the situation with both me and baby covered in milk. However, it wasn't until yesterday (or today, time gets away from me!) when I was on the phone with my sister. We were having a nice conversation when little man decided to get fussy. He was so hard to calm down. I rocked him, shushed him, changed his diaper. Nothing worked. It had only been an hour since he'd last eaten but I figured what do I have to lose. So out came the boob and shush when the baby. My sister noted he had calmed down and asked it he had fallen asleep. I informed her that no, he was just happily eating. Except he really wasn't eating. He was more playing. I think he uses my boob as a pacifier at times. Anyhow, soon after starting to suck, he let go and just started bobbing around and milk started shooting everywhere. No, not leaking down and soaking me from everywhere (oh that has happened plenty!), it was spraying. In multiple directions! I started to panic as it was getting on the chair, the floor, the end table, the dog. So not cool. My sister asked what was going on at which point I had to laugh. I mean really, what else is there to do!

Lesson learned: Never leave a full, uncovered boob unattended!

Oh and a side note, when you decide to try introducing a bottle, milk will still get everywhere. I started pumping in preparation for returning to work. Our pediatrician recommended getting baby boy used to a bottle a day to ensure he would take it. So, my husband gave him his first bottle. It didn't take him long to learn the receiving blanket lesson!

Momma never told me . . . my baby boy's poots would put my brothers to shame!

No. Seriously. I don't think you understand what a big deal that is. I have four brothers and they are gross. My little one though, you can hear him pooting  (let's be serious, they're farts!) from across the house. I don't know whether to be embarrassed or impressed. While I am figuring it out, I will just continue to laugh.

Momma never told me . . . 3 miles would seem so far

Let me put this in context. This is coming from someone who was doing half marathons several times a year. A 3-mile walk was just a daily stroll. I'm not even sure I thought of that distance as a workout just before getting pregnant. I had big aspirations to continue my walk/running throughout my pregnancy. Then, the morning sickness hit. And I don't mean like a little jab, I mean a knock out blow. Morning sickness was all day, every day sickness and it sucked. It also lasted for about 23 weeks so by the time I was back on my feet I was getting huge. I swam some during my pregnancy, (ok, if I am being honest, I played in the pool some during my pregnancy) but not enough to keep me in shape. Anyhow, little one is finally here and it's time to lose that baby weight! Oh, and I am crazy and signed up with team in training to do a half marathon in November. (We all need goals!) So back to walking for me (and eventually running and the gym).

Since little ones arrival, I have done two 3-milers with my husband. I used to out walk him no problem. He would constantly be telling me to slow down. Now he is pushing me to speed up. SPEED UP? Are you kidding me, I'm exhausted. I know that is to be expected and relatively normal given everything, but man it sucks to see how far one can fall. I worked so hard to get in shape and was doing so well and now I feel like I am back to square one. However, the bright light at the end of what I am sure is a long tunnel is that I do know what my body is capable of and that I have reached so much before. That knowledge is what gives me hope that I can achieve it again. Also, I am training for a great cause and that is motivating too. I look forward to the day when 3-miles is easy again and just another daily walk. Besides that, getting back into shape and exercising regularly as a part of that will make me a great role model for my baby boy as he grows up. What is it they say, oh yeah, "monkey see, monkey do."

On a side note, the half marathon I am training for isn't just for me. It's for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. I have had too much experience with cancer in my family and the family of loved ones. The more research that can be done to find treatments and cures the better. But, research costs money. So share some love and some cash and help support this awesome charity and make me look good too. Here's the link to my page to make it easy for you to help out: Mary's Team in Training Page

Momma Told Me . . . 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep would be awesome!

I just didn't believe her until now. Sunday my baby boy turned 3 weeks and my mother-in-law left from her visit Monday afternoon. So at my husband's insistence (and the pediatricians sort of suggestion) we decided to put baby boy in his own crib for the night and use the baby monitor. The hope was the constant baby noises would be less intrusive and we might sleep more. I don't think I slept at all that night. It wasn't so much the baby but more me worrying about the baby monitor not working, me not being able to hear him if he needed me. Needless to say when he whined at 2:30 I was there. He ate and then ate again at 5:30 and again at 8:30 and so on most the day long. I was exhausted. I almost put him back in our room just for peace of mind, but I didn't. So last night I made sure he was dressed warmly and swaddled well. I made sure to get a good feeding in and he went down at 12:30. When I hear him on the monitor this morning I jumped up and noticed daylight through the curtains and almost had a panic attack. It was 5:50 am! Once I processed that he was fine and I was indeed not a neglectful mother, I reveled in the fact that for the first time since he was born I squeezed in a full sleep cycle. It was blissful . . . I am still exhausted.

Momma never told me . . . I would laugh at my husband

often.

I don't think I have explained that I am one of 6 kids and have 8 nieces and nephews and countless cousins. So, being around babies and kids is sort of a second nature thing to me. My wonderful husband on the other hand is an only child and really only has 2 cousins that he sees with any regularity. Babies are pretty similar to aliens as far as he is concerned. This whole fatherhood thing has definitely been a transition for him. I will admit up front that he is doing a pretty good job overall but there are very amusing moments.

The most consistently amusing thing is to listen to him talk to our son, especially when our son is in uber fussy mode and giving his vocal cards some good practice. Sitting here this afternoon my son became fussy after being up for over an hour. That's a pretty long time for a 3 week old. My mother-in-law tried walking him with no success. He had just been fed and gotten a new diaper so that wasn't the problem. He had burped too, so we were pretty sure it wasn't gas. That's where my husband comes in. He gets him calm by holding him close and that was pretty cute. He was talking to him saying, "Oh, you just wanted to be close. See that's better." Then my son on cue gets fired up again. My husband puts him in another position then gives him a little pep talk. Something along the lines of, "You are just going to have to figure it out. I know, you were calm then you got all upset again, so you need to figure it out."  He caught me laughing at him this time to which his response was, "He understands English perfectly. (then look at baby) Don't you?"

I love my husband so much. 

Momma never told me . . . airconditioning would be so important

until the baby was born! My last week of work was the week of July 4th. A nice short work week to wrap up all the final details. It was miserable! The office air was out the whole week! It was miserable hot! It was record breaking heat that whole week and I was so pregnant and swollen! No fun at all. I do love my receptionist who was smart enough to bring in little fans to get the air flowing some. Hot air but less hot. Heat + Pregnancy = Misery. Simplest math equation EVER!

I think it was worse because I was so hot all the time anyways. My poor husband kept fussing I was freezing him out of the house most evenings. I had gotten so used to being hot all the time that I was definitely not prepared for what happened as soon as my little guy made his debut.

I was COLD! My husband definitely laughed at me when I asked to be covered up with not one but two blankets. Once his amusement at my freezing wore off, he began to get excited about how much lower our electric bill will be if I am not hot all the time. If I hadn't been so exhausted, I think I would have kicked him.

Even more amusing is having to relearn that I do in fact get cold sometimes. I went out to dinner with girlfriends last night (a huge thank you to my husband for watching baby!). I wore jeans and a T-shirt and was good to go. In the past, that outfit would have burned me up and when outside it did. I was sitting in the restaurant though, I got so cold. I haven't done that since December or January maybe. Needless to say, remembering to pack the cardigan will be an important thing for future outings! And, if you read this before you have a baby, take something warm to wear to the hospital!

Momma never told me . . . I'd cry at lots of silly things

I knew all about hormones being out of whack during pregnancy. I either didn't know or didn't pay attention to how much they were gonna be thrown off after delivery. I was doing well once baby made his arrival until they took him away for shots and such. My husband went with little guy and my mom stayed with me. Within a minute I was crying and wanting him back. That makes sense, right? I mean I hadn't been without him for 38 weeks! Ok, so it was a little ridiculous. I've cried about a lot of other little things since then too.

Trying to figure out breastfeeding was probably the worst. They kept telling me I needed to feed the baby every 2-3 hours but he just wanted to sleep. When he did try to feed he was pretty lazy about it. Latching on without sucking or sucking without latching on. It would take us 30 minutes sometimes just to get started. That left me in tears and frustrated and baby in tears and frustrated. Thankfully, after about a week he finally figured out that the food was good and things have gotten a lot better. But man there were a lot of tears. Momma could have mentioned the tears. Fortunately for me, she was around that first week to offer help!

Possibly one of the most embarrassing cries was the first pediatrician visit. Baby was born on a Sunday, we went home on Tuesday, and the appointment was on Thursday. My milk had just come in so my boobs hurt like you wouldn't believe and baby wasn't feeding well yet. Oh and I was uber sleep deprived. The weather sucked that day and I was worried about us being late to the appointment. Good times all around. They take us back and the nurse ask what questions we have. She make a list of the 5,000 things we wanted to ask about. Finally the doctor comes in to check on the baby. He asks how we are holding up at which point I burst into tears. My husband looks at me with that "Oh God, she is doing it again" look and the pediatrician just reaches for the tissues. I didn't really pull myself together but did have enough awareness about me to assure him I did not have postpartum depression and was just really tired and frustrated with breastfeeding. Yeah, that was a rough visit. It didn't help that little one had lost more weight which only stressed me out more about the whole breastfeeding thing. (On a positive note, we went in for a weight check 2 days after that and he had put all the weight back on so no worries there!)

The most amusing crying episode was probably the first night in the hospital. My husband is a very routined kind of guy. He goes to bed and wakes up at the same times pretty much every day. He also sleeps with blackout curtains and a fan to block out noise. Needless to say sleeping in a hospital room with a newborn was a very new experience for him and he takes a little time to adjust to change. Fortunately I now these things about my husband and generally love him for it! However, add exhaustion and crazy post pregnancy hormones and everything seems worse. The first night baby wakes up in the middle of the night and was crying for like an hour. We tried everything from feeding, to changing, to swaddling. Nothing worked. I'm already on the verge of crying feeling like a failure that I can't comfort my own son. Then my husband, in classic him style, verbalizes that our new precious baby boy is "a disaster." I lose it. I sit there rocking the baby in tears. My husband, exhausted and oblivious, still trying to sleep has no idea. When the baby is still not sleeping a half hour later he insist we call the nurse to help. She comes in and helps us swaddle him tighter and he finally goes to sleep. At this point, my husband finally realizes I have been crying and asks (oblivious!) why I am so upset. I tell him it's because he hates our son and thinks he's a disaster. I think it took a lot for him to not laugh at me as I burst into more tears. He then calmly clarifies that he loves our son and does not think he is a disaster just his sleep. He also apologized for how it came out and gave us both kisses. Needless to say there have been a few other random crying episodes due to things my husband has said in the middle of the night. The saving grace about it, he always apologizes in the morning!

There have been a lot of other cries since then. Crying at things not being just so, crying when my mom and sister abandoned me (I mean went back home). Fortunately, 2 weeks in I think the crying has slowed down for the most part. Hopefully the hormones are leveling out. I'm not used to being such a crier!

Momma never told me . . . I'd never sleep again

at least not more than 2 or 3 hours at a time. I knew that having a new baby would lead to some sleep deprivation. I was even prepared somewhat for that as in the last month of pregnancy between discomfort and trips to pee I wasn't sleeping all that well anyways. However, waking up every 2-3 hours to feed baby is exhausting. Instead of being up for 5 or 10 minutes max at a time it is now closer to an hour. As the lactation specialist at the hospital put it, "The breastaurant is always open." My husband on the other hand is getting plenty of sleep (but don't tell him that!). I am gracious enough to leave with the baby after the feeding that usually occurs around 4 or 5 in the morning and let him sleep uninterrupted till after 9. I will admit in exchange, he has been good about letting me get some naps in during the day. Unfortunately, despite his best efforts, thanks to the all you can eat buffet that my boobs have become I rarely get in a full sleep cycle before being awoken again by my hungry little piranha.  Luckily for him he's super cute so will continue to get away with it for awhile! And besides that, I am getting pretty good at this walking zombie thing.

Momma never told me . . . I'd pee on myself

multiple times! Ok, so this may be TMI and too personal, but what's the point of this blog if not to share all the things no one wants to talk about. I had gotten used to some leaking during pregnancy. It was especially bad towards the end. Every sneeze and cough was a new adventure. Thankfully panty liners did the trick at keeping those leaks under control from the public eye. I figured one the baby was out and off my bladder all would be right with that part of the world again. Boy was I wrong. Not only was it not better, I am pretty sure it was worse! My first real discovery of this was once I got home. It had only been a day or two and I needed to pee but also clean up everything below. As I was preparing the water bottle to clean my bottom side, I felt a warm stream oozing down my leg. I had on a big hospital pad, but there was no stopping this. When I felt myself soaking wet and saw the puddle on the bathroom floor, that was the moment I realized I had NO bladder control. A few days after that, I had a busy afternoon running around with my husband and new son. We had to get our wills signed then go to baby's first check up. I didn't even think about going to the bathroom. As we left the doctor's office (that visit is a whole other post!) baby was fussing his little head off. As we got into the elevator I bent down to comfort him and it happened again. That warm wet feeling was taking over. No warning and no ability to stop it. I looked at my husband and told him what just happened. His ever so supportive response was "Gross!" followed by laughing at me and asking if I had something I could sit on so I wouldn't get it all over his car seat. I suppose the moral of this story is to go frequently whether you think you need to or not.Either that, or invest in some adult diapers after having a baby. On a positive note, I haven't peed all over myself again, but there is still some leaking with coughs and sneezes. I am not sure what I look forward to more, losing the baby weight or regaining full bladder control.

Momma never told me . . . first time labor could be so fast

Back in June my husband and I went through "baby boot camp." That's our title, not theirs. Basically, it was all the information you could ever want to know about having a baby that you could get in the course of a weekend. When they were reviewing all the different delivery techniques I definitely looked at my husband and said he could have the baby, I was done. He laughed and told me as soon as I figured out how to make that happen he would oblige. Needless to say, that whole process scared the crap out of me after hearing horror tales of 24+ hour labors and multiple things that could go wrong. It also didn't help listening to stories of friends and family about different pain levels and complications. I was also crazy enough to consider a natural delivery to which most people looked at me as if I was insane.

Anyhow, anticipating labor for the first time can make you kind of crazy! I spent so much time worrying about if I would know if I was in labor and what if I screwed something up or couldn't handle it. Everyone kept telling me you won't miss labor, that you will definitely know the difference between braxton hicks and real contractions. Well, apparently that isn't always true! In retrospect, I am pretty sure I spent most of the day before my son was born in back labor. I never had any real clear contractions with a pattern. I suspected I might be, but I didn't feel that bad so I just kept going. No harm, no foul . . . right? Well, apparently maybe not so much. I had a backache but whatever. What lady who is 9 months pregnant doesn't have a backache?! Well after going to bed that night, I woke up at 2:40 am to a pop and a gush. I had heard so much about how most women don't actually experience their water breaking before the hospital so I definitely had a panic moment deciding if it was my water breaking or me peeing on myself. After some inspection I decided it was my water breaking. When I woke my husband up to let him know his first dazed and sleepy response was, "This is really inconvienient timing!" Not the most helpful response. I wasn't having any notable contractions though so I told him to go back to bed while I called my doctor and I would let him know when we needed to leave.

My doctor called me back and let me know I could wait at home and go to the hospital when the pain wasn't manageable or at 9 am whichever was first. I let me husband know he could sleep till 8:30 and called my mom to let her know. About 30 minutes later, I started having regular back pains. Those were contractions, but not like they are typically described. I decided to pay attention to timing them only to realize they were already between 3 and 8 minutes apart. So after 40 minutes of this and increasing pain, I called my mom to let her know not to wait and to come now because "I don't feel too good." I then woke my husband up to more awesomeness. We left the house a little after 4 and got to the hospital about 4:30. We had to wait because the was only one lady at the registration desk and she was helping another couple. After the second contraction in a 5 minute window or less I heard her pick up the phone and call for help. They basically took me back before officially checking us in. A side note, back labor HURTS! That pain is insane! I was on my hands and knees on the hospital hall floor at registration.

Oh and in addition to a speedy labor, momma never told me I would lose ALL modesty during this process. In triage, I had to get undressed for the exam. After checking me and realizing I was already at 5 centimeters, the nurse tried to cover me with a sheet while she went to get orders. I was so hot, I am pretty sure I yelled at her to leave me alone. I did eventually agree to put a gown on to go to a labor and delivery room. Once there I was hurting more and more. The nurse there was frustrated that I was being disagreeable about letting her hook me up to the monitors because it required being in a less comfortable position. Apparently she noticed some signs labor was progressing at one point and made me lay down to check me again. That did not make me happy either, but apparently it was a good thing as I was already up to about 8 centimeters less than an hour later. It wasn't much longer till I was pushing and soon after that at 6:18 am, my perfect baby boy made his way into the world. I would love to say because it was fast it didn't hurt, but that would be a HUGE lie. And all that crap you hear about how you forget that part, LIES. You don't forget, you just realize it's worth it (once you get used to not sleeping!). The contractions hurt, pushing hurt A LOT, but really, the after stuff like the bruise from the IV for fluids and the stitches from tearing  is what really hurt. That stuff isn't fun.

Anyhow, from water breaking to baby being born was about 3.5 hours. In comparison to the nightmare experience I was expecting I'll take it! It also meant I was able to do an all natural delivery which was pretty rewarding as well. And as I write this I am holding my beautiful new little creature in my arms watching him make the funniest faces and that more than anything makes it all worth it. But don't ever let anyone try to downplay the pain. Love hurts!

Momma never told me . . . I'd be so neglectful!

So, two weeks ago today, baby boy made his arrival 9 days early. I finished work on Friday and made sure to wrap everything up before leaving the office. I had big plans to accomplish a lot of things around the home in the week before he was due. He had other plans! He didn't want to waste a single day of momma's maternity leave. He let me get a few things done Saturday and at 2:40 Sunday morning decided it was time so he broke my water and we progressed from there. Since his arrival, I have become somewhat of a walking zombie with things to do piling up around me. I was on the phone with my dad today and he asked me what I had been up to. Standard response to that question: "Fed a baby, changed a baby, comforted a baby, put a baby to sleep, fed a baby, changed a baby, comforted a baby, put a baby to sleep, loved on my dog, took a nap, REPEAT." I'm not any more well rested but we have been blessed to have great friends. They have brought stuff by including dinners so we haven't had to cook really since we've been home. Anyhow, to make up for my neglect, I am going to post some blogs in mass over the next several days to catch everyone up on all the things I wish my momma or anyone else had ever bothered to mention about labor, delivery, and motherhood! Just remember, when you have a new baby you too will become neglectful and the awesome part is, I don't think anyone cares . . . yet.

Momma never told me . . . My feet could be as large as my belly

Ok, so that may be a bit of an exaggeration but not really. I was in a wedding Saturday at 37 1/2 weeks. There was a lot of time on my feet Friday and Saturday. I wouldn't change it for the world because it was a very dear friend, but come Sunday I could barely walk and most steps made me want to cry. My feet were huge. I don't think the record-setting high temperatures those two days helped much with the problem either.

On a positive note, I made it through the wedding without going into labor despite the fears of pretty much everyone there. Momma also never told me so many people would make it their business to be concerned for me. At the rehearsal dinner the groom's mother reminded me many times to sit down and checked on me at least 6 times during the dinner to ensure I was ok. I am pretty sure that evening should have been about the bride and groom. Then after the ceremony and pictures I finally made it to the cocktail hour. Of course my husband was hiding at the complete other end of the hall. While on my mission to find him at least 7 ladies stopped me to ask me how I was holding up/congratulate me for not going into labor and delivering a baby. Several mentioned their concern when they could see me holding my stomach and thought for sure I was going to have the baby right there. Dudes, babies squirm and kick. Then there are these things called Braxton Hicks. Oh, and despite what movies may have you believe, I am pretty sure that for most people the whole labor process takes hours! On top of that, they obviously don't know me that well. If I am that close to a filet mignon, I am not going anywhere until it is in my belly!  I think my favorite though was when a lady swore I was having a baby when I temporarily left the ceremony (to pee!). It was a full catholic mass. I waited till the whole drawn out preparing communion thing to leave. I didn't miss any of the actual vows and I returned promptly. Most people didn't even notice because they were paying attention to the bride and groom, not the corner where the bride strategically sat me because she knew my bladder wouldn't hold up!

Anyhow, back at work today to the seeming shock of every client that shows up. Apparently this baby was supposed to come by now despite having a good two weeks until the due date. My mom has also become annoyingly but lovingly antsy. She called this morning to be sure I knew she was ready to have this baby anytime. I mean really! She has 8 other grandchildren so far. I suppose being the first daughter (not -in-law) to have a kid is a big deal.

Momma never told me . . . I'd be so uncomfortable

I really should have started this blog when I first became pregnant, but I am way too much of a procrastinator for that. So, with less than 3 weeks till the due date, now seemed as good a time as any. Let me start by saying I am not one of those ladies who has LOVED pregnancy. I am one of those ladies who has always wanted to be a mom, but who knew pregnancy would suck so bad! Maybe it's just me, but nausea for 22 weeks was so not cool. Oh, and then about the time you start feeling better you get huge! Don't get me wrong, there are some really cute maternity clothes out there, but have you ever tried walking around carrying a watermelon at your waist for weeks on end?! Sure it doesn't help that while the doctor recommended I gain about 25 pounds I put on 50, but can I really help it if my baby is hungry all the time? It also doesn't help that summer started in like March. They are currently forecasting temps above 100 for the next 4 days in a row! Miserable when you have a personal heater attached to you. There's also all the awesomeness with your GI tract getting all messed up, the heartburn, and the never ending trips to pee. (Ok, so I peed a lot before getting pregnant, but it's way worse now!) The whole cute moving in your stomach thing, even that's a little creepy. I have often had the scene from Spaceballs run through my head where the alien jumps out of the stomach and starts singing and dancing on the bar. Not so cool when things are moving around inside of you.

Anyhow, all that aside, it would have been nice if someone had mentioned that pregnancy sucks. Are they afraid we'd stop reproducing? If so, they are totally underestimating the appeal of sex. People will keep having babies, no need to hide the truth! Anyhow, I am looking forward to the end of pregnancy and the start of motherhood. I figured blogging it could be a nice way to reflect back in the future. Also, it's a place to express all those crazy things that I think and my husband probably says out loud!

Anyhow, I am in a wedding this weekend so that should provide an awesome amount of content. I also signed up for Team in Training to do a half-marathon in November. I need some motivation to get this weight off once baby gets here. (I also have a history of half marathons so it's not quiet as crazy as it sounds!)That should make for some fun times as well as I adjust to mommyhood!