I knew all about hormones being out of whack during pregnancy. I either didn't know or didn't pay attention to how much they were gonna be thrown off after delivery. I was doing well once baby made his arrival until they took him away for shots and such. My husband went with little guy and my mom stayed with me. Within a minute I was crying and wanting him back. That makes sense, right? I mean I hadn't been without him for 38 weeks! Ok, so it was a little ridiculous. I've cried about a lot of other little things since then too.
Trying to figure out breastfeeding was probably the worst. They kept telling me I needed to feed the baby every 2-3 hours but he just wanted to sleep. When he did try to feed he was pretty lazy about it. Latching on without sucking or sucking without latching on. It would take us 30 minutes sometimes just to get started. That left me in tears and frustrated and baby in tears and frustrated. Thankfully, after about a week he finally figured out that the food was good and things have gotten a lot better. But man there were a lot of tears. Momma could have mentioned the tears. Fortunately for me, she was around that first week to offer help!
Possibly one of the most embarrassing cries was the first pediatrician visit. Baby was born on a Sunday, we went home on Tuesday, and the appointment was on Thursday. My milk had just come in so my boobs hurt like you wouldn't believe and baby wasn't feeding well yet. Oh and I was uber sleep deprived. The weather sucked that day and I was worried about us being late to the appointment. Good times all around. They take us back and the nurse ask what questions we have. She make a list of the 5,000 things we wanted to ask about. Finally the doctor comes in to check on the baby. He asks how we are holding up at which point I burst into tears. My husband looks at me with that "Oh God, she is doing it again" look and the pediatrician just reaches for the tissues. I didn't really pull myself together but did have enough awareness about me to assure him I did not have postpartum depression and was just really tired and frustrated with breastfeeding. Yeah, that was a rough visit. It didn't help that little one had lost more weight which only stressed me out more about the whole breastfeeding thing. (On a positive note, we went in for a weight check 2 days after that and he had put all the weight back on so no worries there!)
The most amusing crying episode was probably the first night in the hospital. My husband is a very routined kind of guy. He goes to bed and wakes up at the same times pretty much every day. He also sleeps with blackout curtains and a fan to block out noise. Needless to say sleeping in a hospital room with a newborn was a very new experience for him and he takes a little time to adjust to change. Fortunately I now these things about my husband and generally love him for it! However, add exhaustion and crazy post pregnancy hormones and everything seems worse. The first night baby wakes up in the middle of the night and was crying for like an hour. We tried everything from feeding, to changing, to swaddling. Nothing worked. I'm already on the verge of crying feeling like a failure that I can't comfort my own son. Then my husband, in classic him style, verbalizes that our new precious baby boy is "a disaster." I lose it. I sit there rocking the baby in tears. My husband, exhausted and oblivious, still trying to sleep has no idea. When the baby is still not sleeping a half hour later he insist we call the nurse to help. She comes in and helps us swaddle him tighter and he finally goes to sleep. At this point, my husband finally realizes I have been crying and asks (oblivious!) why I am so upset. I tell him it's because he hates our son and thinks he's a disaster. I think it took a lot for him to not laugh at me as I burst into more tears. He then calmly clarifies that he loves our son and does not think he is a disaster just his sleep. He also apologized for how it came out and gave us both kisses. Needless to say there have been a few other random crying episodes due to things my husband has said in the middle of the night. The saving grace about it, he always apologizes in the morning!
There have been a lot of other cries since then. Crying at things not being just so, crying when my mom and sister abandoned me (I mean went back home). Fortunately, 2 weeks in I think the crying has slowed down for the most part. Hopefully the hormones are leveling out. I'm not used to being such a crier!
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