Momma never told me . . . date and time are irrelevant

So clearly I am mass posting today and catching up on the events of the past 3 weeks. Part of the reason, I had no idea it had been 3 weeks since I'd posted last. Who knew?! All these things happened and I would say, "I need to blog about that." Then baby would cry, or be hungry, or need a diaper change. Time would disappear.

The past 7 weeks haven't involved a calendar or a watch. It has occasionally involved a clock but less for knowing what time it is than for knowing how long it had been since the last feeding or since he woke up. My husband has been the one responsible for planning outings or events. I ask him multiple times a day if we have anything and when. I am interested to see how things go come Monday when I head back to work and have to care about things like date and time again. Hopefully I remember to go to work! (Though my husband probably won't let me forget. As nervous as he is about taking care of baby, I think he's ready to get me out of the house.)

Momma never told me . . . sometimes it would be my husband keeping me up

Last week, my husband and I decided to get out of the house for an evening and we took baby boy to an outdoor movie. It was great and little man behaved himself the whole time. We got home and went to bed. I was sleeping peacefully awaiting the sound of the baby monitor to bring me to a rude awakening. So imagine my shock when 3 hours later it wasn't the baby monitor that stirred me but rather my husband. "I don't feel good. My stomach hurts." Thought in my head, "Are you fucking kidding me." Out loud verbalization, "Really, are you serious right now? Do you realize I don't get to sleep as is?"

Anyhow, I made it better, went back to bed and within 2 hours was back up to take care of the other baby. Then I made sure the big baby heard about it the whole next day! There seriously better be some good presents coming my way soon. Say a car, a new house, diamonds, whatever.

Mommma never told me . . . routine would be so awesome!

Seriously, she never told me that. I grew up in a family of chaos, disorganization, DRAMA. Ok, maybe there was a little routine like we ate regularly, but that's about it. I married someone who is super routined and structured. I have learned to fall somewhere in the middle. Then along came baby boy and routine was out the window. All I knew was that at least every three hours my boobs and baby needed to be in the same place. Other than that there could be sleeping or screaming or this quiet alert time where you didn't really know what to do. Then over this past week or so things started to change. There is more of a pattern of eating, chilling out, sleeping, repeat. Each cycle would be about 3 hours during the day. I could start planning things around this more or less. (The more or less part is important. Sometimes that's hard for my scheduled husband. He'll look at little man and be like, "it's been X time, you're supposed to be doing X." He still hasn't quite figured out babies don't always do what they are supposed to do.) The even more incredible part about this is night time. Baby boy doesn't wake up every 3 hours at night. He goes 4.5 or 5 or even 6 hours between feedings. That means mommy gets sleep. Uninterrupted sleep! Blissful, fabulous, incredible sleep. (Ok, maybe too much excitement there.)

Routine is great. It is starting to make me feel human again. Just in time to go back to the real world.

Momma never told me . . . time would go so fast

Well, this is it! Come Monday it's back to work for me. Granted, I am blessed enough to make my on schedule and am only starting with 3 clients a day. Seriously though, where did the time go! Almost 7 weeks already. 7 exhausting, trying, and incredibly awesome weeks. I can see all the changes in my baby boy as he gets bigger and stronger. I am excited to start working again. I love my job. But, it's a little sad too. I've been with him almost all the time since bringing him home. To think of all that time I will miss is a little overwhelming. To think of all the things my husband is going to have to figure out is a little amusing. Hopefully the husband stories will make up for any feelings of loss as I am sure they will provide a wealth of amusement.

Besides all the emotional awareness such changes in life bring, there is also the issue of, "Seriously, where did all the time go!" I had all these things I was going to accomplish over leave. (Future mothers, don't plan to be productive on maternity leave!) I was going to reorganize my office at work, close lots of old patient files out, re-organize all my treatment materials and references, finish some CE credits I have to do. Yeah, none of that got done. Some of it got barely started. The bright side in it all is that I had something awesome taking up all that time. Time I wouldn't trade for anything!

Momma never told me . . . my husband would try to rationlize drinking

I love my husband. He didn't judge me if I wanted to have a drink during pregnancy. A beer here and there was good for my mental well-being. In fact, some days he encouraged me to have a drink just to be more relaxed about all the stress of impending motherhood. He also doesn't judge me for having a drink here and there while breastfeeding. He really does work hard to get me to take care of myself and not just the baby.

As sweet as that is, sometimes his logic is just ridiculous. The other day I was having a particularly exhausting day and must have expressed some jealousy that he can drink as much as he wants but I have to be more cautious about it. His response to this? "You can get drunk. You have bottles now."
 To which I responded (with an eye roll), "I only have enough for 2 feedings!" Oh but no, he had a response for that too,"That's all you need. That's like 6 hours. Just drink some water when you're done."

Intent = Awesome
Logic = Flawed

Momma never told me . . . breastmilk would get everywhere

I'm not exaggerating. I have thought this since my milk came in after leaving the hospital. I quickly learned to always have a receiving blanket tucked in under my boob when feeding and even then expect to leave the situation with both me and baby covered in milk. However, it wasn't until yesterday (or today, time gets away from me!) when I was on the phone with my sister. We were having a nice conversation when little man decided to get fussy. He was so hard to calm down. I rocked him, shushed him, changed his diaper. Nothing worked. It had only been an hour since he'd last eaten but I figured what do I have to lose. So out came the boob and shush when the baby. My sister noted he had calmed down and asked it he had fallen asleep. I informed her that no, he was just happily eating. Except he really wasn't eating. He was more playing. I think he uses my boob as a pacifier at times. Anyhow, soon after starting to suck, he let go and just started bobbing around and milk started shooting everywhere. No, not leaking down and soaking me from everywhere (oh that has happened plenty!), it was spraying. In multiple directions! I started to panic as it was getting on the chair, the floor, the end table, the dog. So not cool. My sister asked what was going on at which point I had to laugh. I mean really, what else is there to do!

Lesson learned: Never leave a full, uncovered boob unattended!

Oh and a side note, when you decide to try introducing a bottle, milk will still get everywhere. I started pumping in preparation for returning to work. Our pediatrician recommended getting baby boy used to a bottle a day to ensure he would take it. So, my husband gave him his first bottle. It didn't take him long to learn the receiving blanket lesson!

Momma never told me . . . my baby boy's poots would put my brothers to shame!

No. Seriously. I don't think you understand what a big deal that is. I have four brothers and they are gross. My little one though, you can hear him pooting  (let's be serious, they're farts!) from across the house. I don't know whether to be embarrassed or impressed. While I am figuring it out, I will just continue to laugh.

Momma never told me . . . 3 miles would seem so far

Let me put this in context. This is coming from someone who was doing half marathons several times a year. A 3-mile walk was just a daily stroll. I'm not even sure I thought of that distance as a workout just before getting pregnant. I had big aspirations to continue my walk/running throughout my pregnancy. Then, the morning sickness hit. And I don't mean like a little jab, I mean a knock out blow. Morning sickness was all day, every day sickness and it sucked. It also lasted for about 23 weeks so by the time I was back on my feet I was getting huge. I swam some during my pregnancy, (ok, if I am being honest, I played in the pool some during my pregnancy) but not enough to keep me in shape. Anyhow, little one is finally here and it's time to lose that baby weight! Oh, and I am crazy and signed up with team in training to do a half marathon in November. (We all need goals!) So back to walking for me (and eventually running and the gym).

Since little ones arrival, I have done two 3-milers with my husband. I used to out walk him no problem. He would constantly be telling me to slow down. Now he is pushing me to speed up. SPEED UP? Are you kidding me, I'm exhausted. I know that is to be expected and relatively normal given everything, but man it sucks to see how far one can fall. I worked so hard to get in shape and was doing so well and now I feel like I am back to square one. However, the bright light at the end of what I am sure is a long tunnel is that I do know what my body is capable of and that I have reached so much before. That knowledge is what gives me hope that I can achieve it again. Also, I am training for a great cause and that is motivating too. I look forward to the day when 3-miles is easy again and just another daily walk. Besides that, getting back into shape and exercising regularly as a part of that will make me a great role model for my baby boy as he grows up. What is it they say, oh yeah, "monkey see, monkey do."

On a side note, the half marathon I am training for isn't just for me. It's for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. I have had too much experience with cancer in my family and the family of loved ones. The more research that can be done to find treatments and cures the better. But, research costs money. So share some love and some cash and help support this awesome charity and make me look good too. Here's the link to my page to make it easy for you to help out: Mary's Team in Training Page

Momma Told Me . . . 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep would be awesome!

I just didn't believe her until now. Sunday my baby boy turned 3 weeks and my mother-in-law left from her visit Monday afternoon. So at my husband's insistence (and the pediatricians sort of suggestion) we decided to put baby boy in his own crib for the night and use the baby monitor. The hope was the constant baby noises would be less intrusive and we might sleep more. I don't think I slept at all that night. It wasn't so much the baby but more me worrying about the baby monitor not working, me not being able to hear him if he needed me. Needless to say when he whined at 2:30 I was there. He ate and then ate again at 5:30 and again at 8:30 and so on most the day long. I was exhausted. I almost put him back in our room just for peace of mind, but I didn't. So last night I made sure he was dressed warmly and swaddled well. I made sure to get a good feeding in and he went down at 12:30. When I hear him on the monitor this morning I jumped up and noticed daylight through the curtains and almost had a panic attack. It was 5:50 am! Once I processed that he was fine and I was indeed not a neglectful mother, I reveled in the fact that for the first time since he was born I squeezed in a full sleep cycle. It was blissful . . . I am still exhausted.